By Leea Rebeca Ruta – Graphics Editor

You are probably familiar with asexuality, a queer orientation that denotes a person who experiences little to no sexual attraction towards people. But have you heard of people who experience little to no romantic attraction? To be clear: being aromantic does not mean someone does not believe in love/has given up on love due to the hard dating scene. Just like asexuality, aromanticism exists on a spectrum, so no two people experience being “aro” in the same way. Some aromantics might identify as aro-allo (aromantic + allosexual), i.e. someone who does not feel romantic attraction but feels sexual attraction, but there are dozens of sub-identities under the aromantic umbrella. 

For a long time, it never crossed my mind that I could be aromantic, because I had crushes on people ever since I was in kindergarden. Yet, I also remember having an aversion to people showing romantic interest in me. When a boy in elementary school or middle school had a crush on me, I would resort to being mean to them in the hopes of getting them to not like me. Growing up, I used to have deep desires of a potentially romantic relationship later in life. 

For a long time I craved that kind of intimacy, and I longed for a sense of belonging to another person for the rest of my life. So, I couldn’t technically be aromantic if I had those feelings, right? 

My experience with dating people post-secondary has not been very successful because I had to end those developing relationships prematurely. Simply put, I was uncomfortable with everything romantic: the obnoxious good morning and good night texts, the heart emojis, the endless “I love yous,” not being able to do things for myself without having someone pestering me, them oversharing romantic playlists, etc. It was overwhelming, dare I say suffocating. I would start to slowly resent the other person for being “too clingy.” I began to miss the casual conversations we had when we were platonic friends. 

I thought I was afraid of committing because I had never been in a relationship, but this pattern of rejecting person after person was becoming worrisome. A couple of months ago, I stumbled upon a video of a guy describing his aversion to romance, and he explained my feelings perfectly. That’s when it clicked! I then looked up the Reddit community r/aromantic, and the more I was reading other people’s experiences, the more validated I felt. I was not alone! 

But does aversion to romance mean that I will be forever alone? No. There exists what are called queerplatonic relationships or queerplatonic partnerships. There is no strict definition of what those entail because it is different for everyone, but simply put, it is a more-than-friends partnership that “bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship” (taimi.com) and “doesn’t follow traditional heteronormative rules” (divethru.com). 

It is challenging being aromantic in a society where romance is the norm. Attending university with couples left and right and where most people end up finding their life-long romantic partners, can certainly feel lonely at times. Then, there is also the problem of rejecting people who show romantic interest in you and losing a potential friend when you do not reciprocate. I hope that through this article, more people can be aware of what it means to be aromantic. And as a fun side note, a platonic crush is called a squish, and queerplatonic partners are sometimes nicknamed “zucchinis.”