Piper Howell – Contributor

When kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, the possibilities are endless: actors, astronauts, politicians and entrepreneurs. No one tells kids to be realistic, and kids aren’t thinking about whether their choice is a safe choice… yet. But somewhere between childhood and adulthood, those dreams become smaller, safer and more realistic. 

Image courtesy of Billie Grace Ward via Flickr

High school felt like that first step away from those big dreams. You start thinking more about what feels guaranteed and less about that dream you had as a kid. We live in a world where a lot of jobs are being replaced by AI and people are really forced to think strategically about what the future will look like and which job will guarantee a steady income. Big dreams can often be met with ridicule or laughter as if having a dream is irresponsible in today’s economy. 

So, I ask: Why did we stop dreaming big? Fear of failure? Embarrassment? Wanting to be practical? Choosing a stable pathway is an easy choice—not because the work is easy, but because the choice feels safer. There’s comfort in believing that if you do well in school, and do all the “right things,” you can create a stable life. 

During a yoga class I recently took, while holding a challenging pose long past comfort, the instructor said, “Change only happens when you start to get comfortable in the uncomfortable.” After the class, the quote stayed with me. I started thinking about how we often confuse comfort with safety. Following a safe path can feel reassuring; it makes sense that people want to have control over their futures. However, when comfort is the main goal, it limits our ability to imagine what our lives could look like. As we age, we become more risk-averse, we downplay our dreams or even add disclaimers like, “It’s not realistic” before anyone else can say it to us first. Over time, dreaming big starts to feel embarrassing, as if wanting to get more out of life is a flaw rather than a strength. 

That being said, choosing a practical path is not wrong. Financial stability does matter, and not everyone can take big risks without consequences. Wanting security does not mean one lacks passion or ambition. The problem arises when stability replaces desire, when people stop asking themselves what they really want and not what feels safe. Maybe dreaming big does not have to mean abandoning reality. Maybe our dreams can change to adapt to the world we live in without completely disappearing. Wanting stability and a meaningful life doesn’t have to be opposing goals. Perhaps the real question is not why we stopped dreaming, but rather, is it enough to live a life that is built solely on being reasonable?