By Gregory Mateo Wands Bourdoiseau – Contributor

Please, assess the content of this personal inquiry with little gravity and a light degree of seriousness. The goal of my assessment and alternative proposition for the, “beloved,” event known as ‘the Ginger Run,’ is more one of (quite) irrational personal qualm rather than of truly informed disagreement. Certain aspects in the process of its recruitment and activity however, I believe could simply be modified to best accommodate the comfort of participants and overall viewing experience. 

Before proposing the alternative methods of enrollment and unfolding of the event, I would like to briefly denote the three aspects to which I believe changes could possibly be arranged in order to provide a truly emblematic day. Firstly, the attention received and source of such attention both require a hasty inspection. The attention: quite public, blatant and joyful, is wonderful for those – gingers and non-gingers – who would enjoy such invigoration in people’s sight. That is not to say that I do not enjoy attention; I would rather receive such a possibility for an encounter, to be made in a manner of dignity and joy. I do not feel such dignity and joy when running in a counterfeit pursuit of victory. 

Following this, I believe as an alternate proposal, people taking part in this parade should be permitted to walk; allowing for both those who want to run, and those who don’t feel so inclined. This trivial pursuit is also exhausting, I don’t want to run down a street; I might get sore. It is nearly impossible for someone to win this race without having started in the winning position. After a careful analysis of footage, it was found that anyone standing further than three yards of the starting position (Greg, Cheveux Roux, 2005), would not have stood a chance in the overall competition. 

It is important for me to clarify, none of this is to say that no red-haired person would want to, has wanted to, or shouldn’t want to. I am merely suggesting the inadequacy of enjoyability for those who feel obligated to attend – not due to outright demand, but fear of disappointment for one’s personal social scantness.

 If you’ve read this far, it is highly unlikely that you don’t want to disagree, I could understand why. Regardless of where your opinion stands in regards to the “Ginger run,” I hope you enjoyed your St. Patrick’s day weekend at Bishop’s University; I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line next year.