By Halle Brindley – Opinions Editor 

What did you do on Saturday at seven? Oh, me? I was handing out Pabst Blue Ribbon beers as a flower girl for the wedding on Reed Street. Bishop’s core. Like, to a T. 

Groom, Maggie Whitmore, and Bride, Jonny Roach, quite literally found love in a hopeless place: the dungeon of the Lion. Wait, oh my gosh – I also found love and locally crafted blueberry beer in the Lion. Okay, talk about unconventional love! 

There’s this weird pressure to meet your partner in this stereotypical romantic way. “Romance is dead.” Boy, shut up! It’s just different now. Although, yeah, it’s 2 a.m. “wyd” text is not romantic, so don’t romanticize that, or it’ll trap you later. TRUST ME. Now, getting down on one knee in the Lion, gender roles reversed and all, babe, that’s PEAK modern-day romance. 

Maggie saw a TikTok on ‘Frat Weddings’ and decided, in the LLC, that she too, would hop on the trend. This is how the Roach-Whitmore Reed Street wedding came to be.  

The wedding was catered by Reed St. Hotdogs, ordained by Liv Woods, accompanied by a wedding party complete with bridesmaids, groomsmen, two flower girls, and of course Maggie and Jonny’s closest friends and furthest strangers thanks to the event pushed by @bishopsbuzztv on Instagram. 

If you weren’t able to make it to the “most romantic place” in Lennoxville on Saturday because you hate love and celebrating the unison of two hearts, here are some FAQs I would anticipate from those who couldn’t make it. 

FAQS:

How did Maggie and Jonny come to be?

To quote Maggie’s wedding vows, “I texted everyone I knew and said, ‘Would anyone want to be my bride?’ and they all said no. But I ended up, as fate would have it, in the dungeon of the Lion, the most romantic – the SECOND most romantic location in Lennoxville, second to Reed Street. I was a girl with a dream, and the dream was to find a bride who would marry me as a groom… I was talking to some people, and they asked ‘Oh, who are you looking for?’ And I said, “Oh, any guy who would wear a dress…” and they went “Oh! Jonny will do it!” 

What was Jonny’s reaction after Maggie “proposed” to him?

Verbatim, Jonny asked: “Why aren’t you down on one knee right now?” 

Was Maggie nervous?

In an intimate conversation, I asked the former groom, Maggie, if she was at all nervous, to which she told me no, essentially saying if it’s not Jonny, it’s no one.  

What was the problem with the rings?

They (the ring pops) didn’t fit.  

Was the wedding beautiful?

Uh, DUH! A freaking tear-jerker. 

Okay, now back to business. There is no such thing as the “perfect love story.” And especially here, in Lennoxville of all places. No matter how you meet, on Tinder, at the Lion, at Fred and Joe’s apartment, etc., you’re probably going to leave out a few details to Mom and Pop anyway. I know none of you met your partner in the gazebo reading The Bell Jar, like come on. Be honest, and tell me when you had that red solo cup the day you met your sweet ole bae. Was it before the stack cup or after? What little top were you wearing? Do you see what I’m saying? Embrace the unconventional, get it out of your head that things need to be a certain way. Maggie and Jonny did (for 16 hours before their Pizzaville divorce party)!  

We aren’t in a movie. You can still want a white house with blue shutters and a room overlooking the river so you can paint, but for now, just let it be. Get it out of your head that relationships need to be this super romantic love-letter-sending thing in college. To quote the former bride, Jonny Roach said “It was a nice way to get some folks out for something different for a change.” It can be a Costco hotdog dinner date, a Reed Street wedding, or the apparent favorite, but weird, “just friends” situation. Just do something with what you have.  

Anyway, if you do send a letter, please, please, please go to the writing center first.