Eldrick’s return to the links at Augusta could challenge the Super bowl ratings
He’s baaack! Returning from a twenty week absence from golf is surely challenging. Even more so when the cause of your absence is a befuddling car crash, at least two par 5’s worth of mistresses, millions of bucks lost in sponsors, and one pissed off Swedish wife named Elin. Following his November 27th car accident, Woods essentially went into hibernation.
After about two month’s worth of Tiger puns and cracks, he finally made a public appearance, softening his wounds as best as he could. In a carefully staged thirteen minute speech which was called everything from sincere and heartfelt to faker than Cheese Whiz, Woods apologized. Whether or not his wife Elin buys it has been kept secret. While he gave no indication of when he was coming back, his return to golf was inevitable. It was just a question of when. Frankly, it’s not too surprising he chose the Masters as the venue he would make his return to. The prestigious major is one of the most crowd controlled environments of golf, and is the site of four major tournament wins for Woods.
So how will he measure up to such adversity? The guy has a pretty good track record for these sorts of things. In 2006 when his father died, he responded in the season closing it out by collecting the PGA Championship. Just two years ago, he won the U.S. Open on a shattered knee, ignoring medical advice and playing through excruciating pain to take the victory in a playoff over Rocco Mediate. These circumstances are just a wee bit different though. Woods has been attending “inpatient treatment” since the news of his infidelity spread, a term which I interpreted as meaning “I screwed up and now need to make it look like I’m making the effort to change.”
Changing his personal life is a matter unrelated to the golf course, though. Since Woods left golf, so did North America. Tiger’s importance to golf is like cheese’s importance to pizza. I use this analogy because I had a terrible pizza the other day, and frankly it was all because of the cheese (Toscano, what were you thinking? Don’t be fooled by the sale at Provigo, that pizza is garbage!). And who really wants to watch a golf major with Tiger Woods? With these stakes too? Love him or hate him, this is going to be a spectacle. The guy could shoot an opening round from anywhere between 58 and 90 if you ask me. Is he the favourite though? I’m saying no.
Golf has been played since Woods left. Old timer Ernie Els won his first tournament this season in two years. Colombian long ball hitter Camillo Villegas has a win and three top 10’s to open up his campaign. Phil Mickelson is always capable of bringing the ‘A’ game, despite a slow start to his season. Then we have Steve Stricker, who personality wise is likely duller than a Canadian bank, but also is on top of the money earnings for 2010.
My pick? 32-year-old Australian Geoff Ogilvy. He has a gorgeous swing, can get hot with the putter, and always flies under the radar. Also, unlike some of the other top competitors, he has won a major, the 2006 U.S. Open. Where will Woods finish? Whether you think he’s a pure slimeball or indeed an ass, I’ll give him a generous sixth place. He may not be the best cheater in the world, but he is still the world’s best golfer.
