Dear Whitney: Just Curious

Dear Whitney,

I recently got into a debate with some friends, over how HIV is spread. I thought that kissing and oral sex were safe, but intercourse required condoms. My friends disagreed, and I’ve found conflicting answers online—what do you think

-Just Curious

Dear JC,

To be honest, I’m not an expert in this area, but I’ve done a little research, and here’s the short and sweet of the fun facts I came across. When it comes to fucking, “you would have to come in contact with someone who is HIV-positive and a fluid—semen, vaginal secretions, or blood—that can transmit HIV,” says Krishna Stone, assistant director of community relations at Men’s Health Crisis in New York City. Furthermore, for infection to occur, “there would also need to be an unprotected point of entry—either vaginal or anal sex without condoms.”

So no, you can’t be exposed to HIV unless you’re having unprotected fluid exchanges with someone who is HIV positive. Especially, if you’re having sex—safe sex, that is—with someone that’s HIV-negative.

Now, about the kissing…Rui Pires, Education Coordinator for the AIDS Committee of Toronto explains, “Kissing carries no risk of HIV transmission, according to the Canadian AIDS Society’s HIV transmission guidelines”; saliva simply doesn’t transmit HIV. Although, as sex columnist Dan Savage pens, there has been a case of HIV transmission through, what he refers to as, ‘deep kissing.’ This unique infection, however, involved two cases of severe gum disease. So as long as the people you’re tonguing aren’t bleeding from the gums, you should be okay snogging whomever you like.

Onto oral sex—oral sex has, apparently, an extremely low risk for transmitting HIV. However, low risk, does not mean NO RISK. There have been a number of reported cases, where people have become infected while giving head—not to mention the many STIs, such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhea that can easily be transmitted orally. Oh, and here’s another fun fact: having an existing STI and/or STD,significantly increases your chances for oral and penetrative HIV transmission.

So here’s what you can do to minimize the risk of contracting HIV when doing the nasty. Don’t shove your tongue down someone’s throat until your know their gum history, don’t let your partner blow his/her load in your mouth, limit your number of sexual partners, don’t get naked with total sluts, don’t be a total slut yourself, and like my Mama always told me, always, ALWAYS, use a condom!

Love,
Whitney